Über Urban

Chapter Twenty-Three: The End

2010-02-17T02:01:00.001+09:00

This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again

My year in Korea has come and gone. This will be the last blog entry so I hope you enjoyed reading about my impressions and experiences in Seoul. Skip to the end if you want to see how follow in the future.

Korea is a country with both feet set firmly in the past, with eyes stretching towards the future, but with absolutely no thoughts about the present. What does living in a place like Korea do to your psyche? My expectations have changed quite a bit in the last twelve months. Here is what the last year has done to my thoughts.

I think that if I can't get my way, the solution is to make whiny noises until people give in.

I think coffee should cost twice as much as beer.

I think garlic bread and pasta sauce should always have sugar on it.

I think a bag of chips should be opened sideways.

Everytime someone says "That's very hot," I think "Hot. Hot. That's very hot."

I also expect them to connect two objects not with a straight line but with the craziest squiggly line ever.

I think I need to apologize profusely if I want to leave the bars or clubs before 5 am.

I think that even with my windows closed, there is always an abnormal amount of dust that accrues in my apartment.

I think the mop/broom combination thing I have is inadequate to deal with said dust.

I think that, no matter where I'm eating, it's a good idea for the food to be served with sweet pickles.

No matter what the time of year is, I think bars should be simultaneously decorated for Xmas and Halloween.

I think it's okay to get one plastic bag even when I buy a month's worth of groceries.

I think I'm in a really fancy restaurant if our group gets more than one menu and we are allowed to keep it during our whole time there.

I think it's normal for korean kids to start chanting "ole," but, like them, I think it's spelled "olleh!" (hello backwards).

No matter where I am in the city, if the nearest 7-11 is more than 3 minutes away I think it's a major inconvenience.

I think it's perfectly normal for businessmen in otherwise formal attire to wear a snoopy or teddy bear sweater.

I think "panties" is a unisex word.

I think it's just a normal day when I see dozens of people on the subway and on the streets carrying cakes.

I think that when you go hiking, you shouldn't take food, maps, a compass, or even water. If there aren't vending machines somewhere near the top of mountain, there will be a restaurant on the way.

I think that no matter where I am, there will be excerise equipment available.

I think my knowledge of grammar looks like this: "Subject is verb." (Rex is run. Teacher is cry? James is no finish.)

I think wooden chopsticks seem clumsy, large and bulky.

I think it's normal even during drastic crayon shortages for there always to be too many peach.

I think I should be able to take a 20 minute walk, and see a dozen Paris Baguettes, Duncan Donuts, 7-11's, or Noraebongs, but if I see one garbage can I am truly surprised

I think every dinner table should have scissors and a roll of toilet paper.

I think any apartment big enough to fit more than two-three people is massive.

I think old women have the right to push me if I am in any way standing in their way. Or even if I'm not.

If someone isn't standing as close as humanly possible to the person in front of them, I think it's okay to step in that space.

I think you can just bre
ak up words in English whenever you wa
nt to.

This blog is ending, but the journey is just getting started. Future travels include hikes in Himalayas and the Pacific Northwest, a few months in SE Asia, and perhaps a visit to New Zealand before teaching again in Japan or Taiwan.

After two months in Nepal, I will meet Rachel in Bangkok and it will kick off. Follow our adventures here: http://arewethereyeti.wordpress.com/

Chapter Twenty-Two: People as Places as People

2010-02-08T21:57:00.001+09:00

To answer a question
It'll probably take more
If you're already there
Well then you probably don't know
Well we were the people
That we wanted to know
And we were the places that we wanted to go --Modest Mouse

Considering a move to the hermit kingdom? Blogs and recruiters will tout the financial and cultural benefits, both of which, depending on your lifestyle, can be very true. But there are other, less obvious benefits available to those whom risk the change in continent, lifestyle, and career. Here are five of my favorites.

Racism: The other side of the coin.

Most of the teachers here are white, and most of us hail from North America, the UK, or Oceania. Though our generation has been raised with an emphasis on racial empathy, it's good to live somewhere where you are a minority. Further, it's good to live somewhere where many people disapprove of you based on your skin color. It will primarily help you examine your own beliefs and preconceptions about minorities in your own country. Secondly, it is freeing to live in a world where people are predisposed to find you an annoyance or, at best, a novelty.

Corrupting the Youth

This will depend on whom you teach and how old they are, but many teachers here end up with kindergartners in the 4-7 age range. Taking kids who don't have English names and who barely know the English alphabet and turning them into English speakers who, for example, love the Beatles, quote the Princess Bride and Bill and Ted, and who sing "We Will Rock You," has made my year very rewarding. What would you teach youngsters about western culture?

You don't need Twitter for Social Networking

By about the age of 25, most people have their friends set for the rest of their life. Moving to a new country is a great equalizer; everyone is in the same boat. You can meet so many more people, in the big cities in particular, than moving to another city in your own country. The social networking for expats is excellent--you can easily find clubs and organizations for everything to soccer, hiking, rafting, drinking, and improv theater.

It's the Great Outdoors.

Seoul won't be mistaken for Edinburgh, Melbourne, or Paris any time soon. But Korea is a scenic, beautiful country--minutes of leaving the city reveal a rolling green countryside that belies the uber-urbanization associated with South Korea. The valleys are full of rocky swimmable rivers, the islands have gorgeous, campable beaches, and everywhere you go are the mountains. Seoraksan, pictured here, is a vastly scenic area replete with hiking trails, hot springs, hermit caves, and waterfalls.

Information Vacuum

In many ways, this is my favorite. Korea is already a little out of touch with the rest of the world, and without a tv (or at least without English news) you can escape the over-dramatized uber-sensational programming mislabeled as "news" in the west. Escaping the barrage of banality is a major boon; the mental equivalent of selling most of your useless stuff and paring down to the essientals. If your ears ache from hearing too much celebrity gossip, I suggest you start developing a taste for gimchi and start thinking about what to pack.

In fairness, you will probably have more challenges in Korea than if you stayed in your home city. I have known many teachers here who had great difficulties dealing with how different the people, attitudes, and the culture is. But dealing with challenges isn't always a bad thing, either; if you are open to new things or want to become so, then teaching abroad may be for you. If it's ever crossed your mind, I say "go for it!"

Chapter Twenty-One: One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer

2010-02-02T01:16:00.005+09:00

One bourbon, one scotch, one beer
Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when,
I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey, scotch and gin
Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose,
need me a triple shot of that juice
Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear
I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer
One bourbon, one scotch, one beer

Korea wants you to drink and it's not for nothing that the Koreans are known as "The Irish of Asia." In addition to drinking vast amounts of alcohol, they are quite social about it. Invitations to join people whose only common language is the international tongue of "drunk" are often forthcoming. Korean media portrays alcohol as vital to health and some even suggest it can cure cancer.

There is a dark side to this too. You don't have to live here long to see old women puking on the streets, sometimes quite early in the morning on their way home from the bars. It's socially acceptable to pass out in the streets, on the subway, in an elevator, on a park bench, anywhere really. Drinking in Korea is dangerous because many of the checks built into other countries don't exist. Last Call? No such thing. Overserving? Here that's known as "bartending." Closing time? Only when the last stragglers leave--and if that's at 8 in the morning, so be it.

Korea wants you to drink, but for those less interested in alcoholic drinks, many options exist. From sweet potato lattes to delicious mocktails, you can always find something. Coffee is everywhere, and in some places it is actually good.. It's usally in the 5 dollar range, however, and beer can cost as little as 2 dollars for a pint. Korea wants you to drink. Another consideration is that, unlike in the west, where pricing is based largely on alcohol percentage, you can pay as much for a glass of lemonade as your friends did for their Long Island Ice Tea. Korea wants you to drink.

Here are some photos from a year's worth of outings.

These margaritas at On the Border are incredible and come in a variety of flavors--some of which are unique to this restaurant.

Makgeolli is a cloudy rice wine that one time was primarily for farmers. Luckily, its deliciousness has transcended class barriers and you can now get it most everywhere.

Korean beer is, largely, flavorless lager. It grows on you. Especially when it's in a nice evergreen bottle.

But the most delicious thing is this Korean raspberry wine. It's like drinking candy.

Chapter Twenty: Just Eat It

2010-01-26T23:40:00.001+09:00

How come you're always such a fussy young man.
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran.
Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan.
So eat it, just eat it.

Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate.
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate.
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate.
So eat it.

A friend of mine once said "If ~~ukuleles~~ accordions were considered in the same class as guitars, Weird Al would be bigger than the Beatles." Whether or not that's true, Weird Al's classic "Eat It" is a good introduction to some of my meals in the past year.

Even though my kitchen is small and I don't have an oven, cooking for myself has been a real boon during my stay in Korea. I knew beforehand that veggies, rice, and tofu were easily acquired. Finding things like pasta and spaghetti sauce were a boon I wasn't expecting. I've gone through a lot of peanut butter too, which at 7 dollars for a small jar of Jif is a gourmet food here. Though I've documented the challenges of not eating meat in Korea, that doesn't mean that you can't eat well here.

My attempt to make a tofu sandwich.

Vegan ddukbokki (rice noodle soup). We added raymeon noodles to ours. This was super good, super spicy, and super filling.

One of many stirfries, this one was spiced up with cashews and a strange form of tofu.

Thanks to some tvp from the homefront, I was able to have some delicious penne marinara.

Chapter Nineteen: Another Brick in the Wall

2010-01-21T23:13:00.009+09:00

We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teacher leave them kids alone
Hey teacher leave them kids alone

Some of the children of Isponge, followed by a very important lesson in cultural sensitivity. You are never too young to learn!

Betty, who is as cute as a bug in a rug.

Ho-Jun, who is nicknamed "Tornado" for his exuberance.

Zion and Eun-Seok. I complimented Eun-Seok on his green vest last week and he has worn it every day since. (Don't tell anybody, but I would too.)

Sarah, looking intense. Whatever you do, don't call her "Tri-sarah-tops." She finds this neither witty nor amusing.

Rex is a genius. Look at his crossword puzzle; it's the hardest I could find (for English speaking adults) and it took him about 45 minutes to finish.

Chapter Eighteen: This Must Be the Place

2009-12-29T09:10:00.065+09:00

Home is where I want to be
Pick me up and turn me round
I feel numb - born with a weak heart
I guess I must be having fun

Home - is where I want to be
But I guess I'm already there
I come home - she lifted up her wings
Guess that this must be the place

Big changes are coming to the blog, I hope. I redesigned it recently as well. When I moved to Seoul I wanted something dreary and grey and impersonal. But it turns out that dreary is...well, rather dreary. I want to make this blog easier to follow as well. Soon I will be traveling and there will be more updates, more pictures, and more videos.

In other news, I lost my camera (see the sidebar "An Irish Ambush in South Korea"). A new one is on the way but in the meantime this blog is going picture free.

I am working on some thoughts on Korea/wrap up posts. In the meantime, here are some of the things I miss from Portland after almost a year away. (Of course, friends and family top the list. But you guys all have big egos and I don't want to do anything to make your heads swell further.)

Powells: It's a city ... of books. Duh.

Bye and Bye: Good beer, vegan food, good music; just a cool place. Maybe the best hang out place I have found.

Sweat Pea: I have only been here half a dozen times or so, but I can say this is the best bakery I have ever been to. The fact that it's vegan is almost irrelevant; this place is simply awesome.

New Old Lompoc: This could be any of a thousand microbreweries, but I dig their seasonal stouts and filling mason jars with beer is always fun.

Laurelhurst Theatre: You mean there is a cinema that serves beer AND is cheaper than the big cinemas? Seems too good to be true. I chose this over the Baghdad and others because they offer more movies and better beer.

Wildwood Trail. Almost as amazing as the length and beauty of it is the ready accessibility. You can hope onto this sucker from so many different places and instantly you are transported into a wilderness experience.

Rain: Scoff all you want, but the winters in Oregon are beautiful in their own drizzly way. If nothing else, they make the first sunny day of spring feel like an international holiday. And if that doesn't convince you, consider that I've been waking up to temperatures of minus twenty (Celsius).

Atomic Art: Joanne is a legend and I wish I was still getting some work done from her. The only consolation: for the price of a large-ish tattoo, you can live in SE Asia for three or four months.

Blossoming Lotus: When I think about the food I miss, their avocado sandwich on whole grain bread comes up first. *Drools*

Belmont Station: A truly impressive collection of great beers. If they allowed international online ordering, I would have spent embarrassing amounts of money on importing IPA's and imperial stouts.

Por Que No? The food and daily drinks are great, but this is one of the only places where I feel the ambiance alone is worth the visit.

Last Thursday: Pure awesome. Urban life at its eclectic best, and one of the reasons that NE Portland has supplanted SE as my favorite part of town.

Wandering and discovering new things. Urban wandering in Korea is still fun, but you come across the same restaurants, shops, and areas that you find everywhere else. I miss wandering and finding something like an interesting new cafe or shop.

Fred Meyers: It surprises me too; Freddies is about as glamorous as finding ecoli in your salad. But it is one place that has many of the comforts of home. Homeplus and Emart are nice, but they don't quite have the same variety (though they crush in the gimchi and dried squid department).

Chapter Seventeen: Happy Christmas (War is Over)

2009-12-17T19:12:00.010+09:00

So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun

John Lennon, despite getting Christmas and New Year's Eve mixed up, could write some songs. In the battle of best ex-Beatle Christmas anthems, poor Sir Paul could only muster Wonderful Christmas Time. Poor show, Sir Paul.

Christmas is a strange holiday because it sits in the middle. Most holidays, I think, fall into one of two categories.

Some holidays are outstanding when you're a kid You can spend the entire year looking forward to them and when they happen they're the best days of your life. Days like Easter, Groundhog's Day, 4th of July, Arbor Day (who knows why but kids love planting trees), birthdays, and, of course, Christmas.

Other holidays seem unnecessary when you're a kid but you grow to like: Thanksgiving, New Year's Eve, Memorial and Labor Day, MLK Day. Most of these are good because they involve days off from work and heavy eating/drinking.

I can only think of two in the middle: St Patty's and Halloween. It was great to dress in green and pinch the people you liked in elementary school, and it's great as an adult to drink as much Irish Stout as you want. The nature of the holiday has changed, but I think kids and adults like it the same. Substitute booze for candy, and Halloween has the same appeal for all ages--create a clever costume, see your friends, overload on the treat of your choice.

Christmas is definitely more adult friendly than Easter, which becomes mostly useless, but I think it's hard to capture that excitement that children get the night before Christmas. Still, Christmas is great because, no matter your age, you can find something enjoy from it.

Anyway, happy holidays to all who have stopped by. Whatever your reasons for celebrating this year (I always think celebrating Christmas is like celebrating winter, at least in the Northern Hemisphere) I hope you have a merry time of it.

I mentioned last month that I would try to come up with a list of the top 10 movies of this decade. This was a lot harder for me than music--I love music, but I can't go a day without comparing it to some movie or other. And I have shockingly little music aptitude or understanding of the craft, but with movies I at least can approach them with more understanding. I do tend towards a bit of film snobbery, and you won't find some obvious choices on here. The likes of Shrek, Juno, Spiderman, Lord of the Rings, Wall-E, Little Miss Sunshine, Almost Famous, Napoleon Dynamite won't be found here, because I consider them all some form of horrible.. But for fun I've mentioned, where appropriate, the movie that a proper critic would have included instead of my choice.

Honorable mentions: Ghost Dog, The Cuckoo, The Castle, Children of Men, Donnie Darko, Hallam Foe, In Bruges, The Fountain, Coraline, Requiem For a Dream, and Choke.

10. Best in Show
Fans of Waiting for Guffman and This is Spinal Tap were treated to the zenith of the mockumentary, while others were blown away by a simply hilarious movie.
Replaces: Any Judd Apatow comedy.

9. Stardust
This decade was fantastic for the sci-fi genre, and Stardust was, for Neil Gaiman fans, highly anticipated and somewhat overlooked. Amazing scenery, an impressive cast, and a well-written adaptation makes this the representative of the genre.
Replaces: Lord of the Rings.

8. Memento
This movie came out so early in the century that it's hard to remember how incredible it was. The unique structure, however, hasn't been matched since. Nolan of course went on to direct the Batman movies, but the performance he gets here from Guy Pearce is good as anything from Heath Ledger's Malcolm McDowell impersonation.
Replaces: The Dark Knight.

7. Religulous
Bill Maher can come off as a smarmy asshole, but this is one of the few movies that will really important questions. How can a supposedly secular country not bat an eyelash when its president starts a war because "god told him to"? With Larry David directing, though, it's never dull, and perfectly strikes the balance between thought-provoking and entertaining.
Replaces: Fahrenheit 911.

6. Layer Cake
In my opinion, the best British gangster movie of not just the decade but all time. Fans of this film were stoked to see Craig get nominated for Bond; this is one of those immanently quotable re-watchable movies that deserve to be watched by large groups.
Replaces: Snatch

5. Science of Sleep
My favorite of the surreal, mind-blowing films of the decade. Gael Garcia Bernal is slightly off-cast as an unsure Everyman, but he handles it with aplomb. The blurring of reality and fantasy is deftly handled, the supporting cast is great, and Gondry's direction is uniquely brilliant.
Replaces: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

4. Into The Wild
I loved the soundtrack, I loved the movie. It's so hard for a Hollywood production to be truly inspirational, it's amazing when it can actually happen.
Replaces: Broke Back Mountain

3. Shaun of the Dead
This is going to be a controversial statement, but this is hands-down the best rom-zom-com ever made. EVER.
Replaces: Nothing. There's nothing in the same class with it.

2. The Proposition
To me, the greatest western ever made. An amazing cast, a well-written and told story, a superb soundtrack, and a location that oozes off the screen. The advance of dreadful inevitability invokes Euripides and Camus.
Replaces: There Will Be No Country For Old Bloody Men

1. The Fall
Reminiscent of Del Toro or Gilliam at their best, this tale within a tale of a young girl is both highly familiar and unlike anything you've seen before.
Replaces: Pan's Labyrinth.

There you have it. If you haven't seen any of these films, even the Honorable Mentions, consider them to have my highest recommendation. Let me know if you agree/disagree with these choices, your feelings on the Yuletide season, or your Granny's recipes for home-made fudge in the comments please.

Chapter Sixteen: Ignorance is Bliss

2009-12-08T19:39:00.007+09:00

"Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise."

Keen-eyed viewers will have lately noticed a certain lack of, well, Korean things in this blog. This is mostly because after eight or nine months, life is pretty routine and it's hard to keep saying, "So I saw some funny signs today."

But I realized that I have neglected one of the most amusing aspects of life in Korea. Koreans believe in some funny things. I say this, knowing that I hail from a country that thought not once but twice that having a retarded cowboy manage our lives would be a good idea. So understand that I laugh not at Korea but with it.

* Names. Korea is a literal place. The capital city is Seoul, which translates as "Capital." The river that flows through the city is called the Han, which translates as "Korean." The most popular food here is made of seaweed and rice, and it's called Kimbap. Kimbap literally means, of course, "seaweedrice."

* A fruit by any other name. They think westerners are quite silly in their classification of the tomato as a fruit. Strangely, though, I have not seen a fruit salad here that didn't prominently include tomatoes.

* Why is everyone playing Basketball? I assumed the reasons for this were self-evident. But Koreans start playing at a young age because they believe it will make them taller. They do tend to be quite tall, so maybe there's something to this one.

* Avoid the rain. What you or I might call a drizzle causes Koreans to duck under doorways and brandish umbrellas. The reason: they think that rain causes hair to fall out.

* Japan is evil. Koreans hate the Japanese with surprising ferocity, to the point that they won't eat their version of sushi with soy sauce because the Japanese do. To be fair, Japan was pretty brutal, both historically and in living memory, to Korea. But the children here will "Boo" and be very comfortable when Japan is brought up. North Korea to them, by contrast, is just a funny, "angry" place.

* Eat your fermented cabbage. An apple a day may no longer keep you medically fit, but Koreans have a superfood that will actually prevent swine flu! Kimchi says so right on the package, and it's been presented in the paper, on the news, and, well, everywhere. I never touch the stuff and I caught the swine, so this one might have some merit. One problem: Koreans eat it three times a day and still hundreds of thousands have caught the flue.

* Why was six afraid of seven? They don't know about the Panama canal, and hence lump America into one mega-continent. Why Europe, Asia, and Africa don't get the same treatment is unclear.

* I'm your biggest fan. This one sounds made up, but it's the mother of them all. If you leave your fan on, it will suck all the oxygen out of the room and you will die. This is not urban legend, it is in the news, validated by scientists, and even highly educated people are convinced it's true. Fans here are made with timers so they can shut off automatically and thus save your life.

It makes me wonder what follies we've all swallowed from our own cultures? Surely nothing as blatant as fan death? Would we know it if we did?

Anyway, here's something that my students have been learning recently. Sometimes I feel that teaching them to sing Beatles and quote Bill & Ted might not be of the utmost importance (only sometimes though, don't worry!) but the truth is that their coursebooks are less than useless and so full of errors that they hinder more than help their education.

Chapter Fifteen: November Rain

2009-11-15T21:22:00.010+09:00

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one

Autumn officially lasts another month, but winter is coming. Brutally hot as the summer blazed, the winter is not to be outdone. Armed with freezing cold and bolstered by frigid Siberian winds, winter is not worried about living up to its end of the bargain. I walked through a foot of snow yesterday in the mountains a few hours north of here. I like winter a lot. My favorite thing about winter is neither skiing nor eggnog nor Christmas. It's pockets. You put on a sweater and a jacket and suddenly you have pockets coming out of your ears. It's all well-and-good to chuck on a t-shirt and shorts in the summer time, but what about your pocket needs? You really have to look to winter for those. Stuffed with books, mp3 players, snacks, phones, and whatever else you want, it's easier to be prepared in winter.

As of today, I've hit my three-quarters mark here in Korea, which is strange for two reasons. Part of me thinks I've only been here for 9 days, whereas the rest of me is convinced that I've been here for 9 years. I suppose 9 months is a happy medium. It is a bizarre amount of time, though. I have the ennui-laden ambivalence that college kids call senioritis. I feel like I have one foot out the door already, but 3 months is no short time. Sure, in retrospect it will have gone by quickly, but what part of life doesn't, in retrospect?

Like Bilbo Baggins before he gave the ring to Frodo, I am feeling a bit stretched out. A bit weary. Luckily, Rivendell looms in a few short months. and though there be orcs, Nazgul, and forgetful innkeepers opposing me, I'm pretty sure I'll make it. As rewarding as teaching the young kids can be, if I teach again I think I'll go for a slightly older crowd. Like high school students. Or senior citizens.

***

Do you know what's weird? This decade is almost over. Wha? Y2k was ten years ago! Holy hell, that makes me feel old. And did we ever decide what to call this decade? Aughts? Naughts? I guess it's a moot point now, but here's a more topical question. Do we call 2010-2012 the teens or the pre-teens?

Hmmm. Anyway, in recognition of the decade's closing, I've compiled a baker's dozen of the best albums of the decade. I make no claims about these other than personal preference. If it wasn't already clear, this list reveals that I am not a scenester. This music is all pretty well-known and accessible. I'm also trying to rank these based on how great I thought they were at the peak of their popularity, not how I feel now.

Compiling this was tough. This soon-to-be-gone decade tried to help by completely sucking for the first 2 or 3 years, but the middle years of the decade were not nearly so complacent. I think the 2000's rank with the best of any other time in terms of quality rock.

First the honorable mentions, and there are quite a few. Many of these albums could be in the conversation for best ever, and if you were to tell me one of them was your favorite album, I would perfectly understand. The list includes:

Black Keys: Rubber Factory.
Audioslave: Audioslave.
Battles: Mirrored.
QoSA: Songs for the Deaf.
Killers: Hot Fuss.
Xavier Rudd: Solace/Food in the Belly.
Weezer: Red Album.
Vampire Weekend: Vampire Weekend.
Pendulum: Hold Your Colour.
Camille: Le Fil.
Bernard Fanning: Tea & Sympathy.
Tegan and Sarah: So Jealous.
Decemberists: Plcaresque.
Snow Patrol: Eyes open.
Arcade Fire: Funeral.
Datarock Datarock.

And now, the top thirteen albums of 2000-2009.

13. Gorrillaz: Demon Days. Albarn at his best and the videos are awesome.

12. Postal Service: Give Up. Such Great Heights might be THE anthem of the decade.

11. Pinback: Summer in Abadon. These guys are just amazing.

10. Red Hot Chili Peppers By the Way. An album that sounds better the more time goes by.

9. Death Cab for Cutie: Plans. Gibbard again. Though fans will claim the earlier albums were better, this is the one that will always remind me of 2006.

8. Into the Wild Soundtrack As good as anything Vedder has ever done.

7. Interpol: Antics. Like their global crime-solving namesakes, there's nothing these guys can't do.

6. Franz Ferdinand Franz Ferdinand. This album restored my faith in music.

5. Modest Mouse: Good News For People Who Love Bad News. One of the rare albums without a bad song.

4. Bloc Party: Silent Alarm. There's never a time I'm not in the mood to listen to this.

3. Kings of Leon: Only by the Night. Good old fashioned rock, at times reminiscent of The Joshua Tree.

2. The Raconteurs: Consolers of the Lonely. After seeing them live, my respect grew exponentially.

1. Wofmother: Wolfmother. Though they split after this album, it was enough. Like the previous two albums on this list, it was a throwback to the 70s and enhanced by blues. I wish I could have seen them live.

Special mention goes to The Knife, one of my favorite bands. But I can't decide between Deep Cuts, Silent Shout, and their self titled album to list just one.

Next month, I'll try to come up with something even more challenging. The top 10 films of the 2000's. And then maybe even the top 10 books too. I like lists.

What bands/albums did I forget? Please comment with thoughts or complaints.

Chapter Fourteen: This is Halloween

2009-10-22T20:44:00.012+09:00

Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?
Come with us and you will see
This, our town of Halloween
This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night
This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
It's our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween

Well it's late October now, which is the best time of the year. In Korea they know about Halloween--Korea is one of the rare places not biased against American holidays (even though Halloween derives from the Celtic holiday as we all know). But it's not like you can get the things you need for a costume or party very easily. I'm not complaining; you don't come to Korea for the Halloween parties but I am a little wistful thinking about all the celebrations back home. And I miss things like pumpkin beer, warehouses filled with costumes and props, haunted houses, apple cider, and crisp, colorful leaves.

But I've got Halloween movies, and that's no mean consolation. With that in mind, I've made a list of my seven favorite Halloween programs. What makes for a good Halloween flick, you ask? To me, it can be something as gory as Saw or as tame as the escaped gorilla tormenting Donald Duck and his nephews so long as it captures something about the spirit of Samhain.

7. Night of the Living Dead. This classic is almost Lovecraftian with its applications of creeping dread, and I think it still has a claim as the greatest zombie movie ever made.

6. Simpsons Treehouse of Horror V. Yes, I'm including the Shining spoof but not the Shining. I love Kubrick's flick, but it's just not seasonal enough for me to include on this list. This one is, and you get Homer's time machine toaster and the cannibal cafeteria segments to boot,

5/4. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Both Disney's Bing Crosby version and Tim Burton's re-imagining ooze the crispness of autumn and Halloween.

3. Halloween. One of the few "slasher" movies that relies on suspense as much as a high body count. Carpenter's score is legendary, and Donald Pleasance is inspired. Plus, you know, it's called "Halloween" for a reason.

2. It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. "I got a rock."

1. The Crow. I'm a dude and thus don't cry at movies, but this one is sad enough without even thinking about the real-life horribleness that accompanied it. More importantly, it's freakin' awesome!

Am I missing anything? Please add others in the comments.

UPDATE: It turns out I was missing one, but that's not to be blamed since it didn't exist a week ago. Presenting the newly created masterpiece: THE GHOUL AND THE GIRL.

That kind of entertainment aside, I've been having a lot of fun on the weekends. The last month or two has included hiking on Bukhansan, a trip to a massive man-made waterfall, two more excursions to Seoraksan, the discovery of a vegan cafe in Seoul, beach camping on an island, a festival featuring the Prodigy and Pendulum, and a ten-day whirlwind visit from my mother. Those who have lived abroad know how nice it is to share the experience with friends and family from back home, and my mom loved Korea. I think that as a tourist destination, it's vastly underrated.

But don't take my word for it. Check out the photographic (if not necessarily photogenic) proof.

This massive structure was built recently as part of an enducement to encourage Koreans to move to the outskirts of Seoul. It would work for me; this area is one of the nicest I've seen in Seoul.

The foliage and mountains of Seoraksan.

Rachel and I visit an Irish pub.

A trip to Loving Hut, a vegan cafe.

My mother and me at Lotte World, an insanely fun theme park.

The views from the highest peak on Deokjeokdo, a nearby island.

Koreans love statues of genitalia, and the wood carvings aren't by any means limited to the male anatomy. Still, these were rather special even by Korean standards.

Chapter Thirteen: Noraebong and Road Trip Games

2009-09-09T13:25:00.004+09:00

I never thought I'd see the day, but I've run out of Seoul/Soul song name puns. Ack! That leaves me at a bit of a loss but fear not ... I'll probably think of something else punny to include sooner rather than later.

Today we take a look at the Top 10 Noraebong songs. I know you've all been desperately curious so it's good that you clicked on the blog today. This list is obviously skewed towards music that I like, but I've found that these go over with a variety of people, including Koreans and other foreigners.

There is a bias towards fast songs, because slow ones simply don't get people involved enough and because it's harder to hide your own crappy singing in slow songs. But perhaps they'll make their own list later.

THE TOP 10 NORAEBONG SONGS

10. Feel Good,Inc: This is a great song in and of itself, but getting some singing, some rapping, and some harmonizing all in one song makes it a great contribution to the Noraebong night.

9. Buddy Holly: This is a song that everyone knows and it's fun to go "ooh-ooh" along with Rivers.

8. Total Eclipse of the Heart: This song's inclusion is probably self evident.

7. Hey Ya: This is a fun song to sing and includes shout out to the ladies and the fellas. And everyone enjoys shaking it like a Polaroid picture.

6. Tainted Love: The 80's don't have a huge representation in Noraebong, at least not songs in English, but this one is great (though hard to find; not every place has it).

5. Mr. Brightside: (You can substitute "Somebody Told Me," "When We Were Young," or any other Killers song for that matter. They all make great Noraebong fodder.

4. Song #2: Fast, loud, and requires lots of jumping.

3. Bohemian Rhapsody: Wayne's World proved that this was an awesome song to rock out too, and the noraebong just confirms it.

2. Take me Out: With a nice slow intro, a crazy change-up from nowhere, and a chorus that was written to be shouted, this is the song I pick most nights as the grand finale.

1. Smells Like Teen Spirit: This is the song with everything. It had to overcome some difficult competition, but with slow bits, loud parts, jumping parts, passionate parts, and lots of talk about mosquito and libidos this is the number one song in Noraebong.

Honorable mention: Ghostbusters, Living on a Prayer, Betterman, I Want to Know What Love Is.

Wishlist: The Noraebong book is massive and the Korean songs are updated quite frequently. The English part is maybe 1/10 of the book and the newest songs are still 2-3 years old. But if I could request new songs, these would be amongst the leading contenders.

Rooster, It's Tricky, No Rain, Computer Camp Love, Sex on Fire / On Call, Evil, Level, Alive, White Winter Hymnal

***

A plethora of long trips has caused some new games to be developed. Continuing with the theme, one of the more interesting is called "Name that National Anthem." Somebody names a song, any song, and the others have to pick the country that it should be the national anthem for. You can give any rationale you like, but you are required to justify it. Obviously, once a country has been listed it is off limits for the rest of that game.

Here are some examples. They seem obvious now but naming a random song and hearing an answer you didn't expect is quite hilarious. If you find yourself on a bus or waiting for a train with an hour or three to kill, I recommend trying this out.

[Most of these should be pretty self evident, but feel free to ask a question in the comments if you want to know. ]

Stand by Your Man (Saudi Arabia)

Hey Jealousy (England)

Hello Goodbye (North and South Korea)

Groove is in the Heart (Holland)

Stayin' Alive (Congo)

Sex and Candy (Thailand)

Monster Mash (Scotland)

Baby One More Time (India)

Shut Up (France)

Don't Look Back in Anger (Germany)

Mad World (Madagascar)

Do You Really Want to Hurt Me? (Palestine)

Scar (Cambodia)

Chapter Twelve: Seoulja Boys and Girls

2009-08-25T21:18:00.010+09:00

With my halfway point officially in the rearview mirror, I still have so much to do and see in Seoul and in Korea. Many of my friends are leaving now; their contracts are up. It's weird seeing them leave, as they were the seasoned veterans I relied on both for advice and funny stories. And it's weirder thinking that I'm now where they were when I got here.

I am now the longest tenured teacher at my school--counting the Korean teachers, which is rare. (And a sign of how poorly our school is run.) We now have two teachers doing the work of three, and our boss thinks we are her servants, to the point of commanding us to spend time with her on weekends. It can be unpleasant. The best thing about the job, by far, is the kids. While they still can and do hit, lick, spit, and cry, seeing kids who 6 months ago didn't know their English names ask questions using complete sentences is pretty amazing.

I try to make English as fun as I can, so I have taught them a couple of things not in the course books. (I have spent the last week trying to make a video of this all compiled but Windows Movie Maker has crashed on me every time. So the following videos are raw and uncut, just the way my readers like it.)

The first is a line from Bill and Ted they are learning, the second is part of their Princess Bride education, and in the third they show off their ninja moves.

Chapter Eleven:: Konichiwa Bitches

2009-08-05T20:14:00.013+09:00

Today's (slightly profane) entry is brought to you by that Swedish songstress Robyn.

Hit the gong-gong
Bring the sumos on
I'm 'a kick ass all the way to hongkong
Make the balls bounce like a game of ping-pong
I'm so very hot that when I rob your mansion
You ain't call the cops, you call the firestation

I recently had my first 5 day break in a while, maybe about year. I ended up in the Kyushu region of Japan with my girlfriend Rachel, who is from New Zealand. Japan wasn't my first choice. I was thinking of taking the night ferry to Russia, or hiking in rural China, or possibly camping in Taiwain. But once Rachel pointed out that she had studied Japanese for five years and had heard of a place with "lots of hiking and hot springs" then the choice became obvious. It is only an hour plane ride from Seoul as well, which is amazing since it's a whole 'nother world.

We spent most of our time in Fukuoka, a clean, sleepy city of 3 million. It was amazing how small and green it seemed to us, coming from Seoul. The people were amazingly friendly, with lots of smiles and even drivers would bow their heads to you as you crossed the street. The food was great as well, and there where many parks. I found a vegetarian restaurant and the convenience stores had veggie options--quite an improvement from Seoul where dinners quite often end up being Pringles and Coke. I could have spent a month in the city and not seen it all, but it's a great base for day trips too.

Within a few hours train ride was Mt. Aso (a large active volcano), Beppo (a hot spring loaded tourist town), Nagasaki and Hiroshima (both with acclaimed Peace museums) a Dutch-styled town, and countless beaches, islands, and ancient shrines. Due to a hot tip from a hostel-mate, we spent the equivalent of 70 bucks on a three day train pass, which paid for itself the first day. The volcano was closed (which we found out after we got there) but the train ride was still nice and overall things really couldn't have gone much better. I like Korea a lot, but Japan is an amazing place that compares favorably with anywhere I've ever been.

I've put together a montage with most of the pictures and many of the songs that were running through my head. (They're pretty obvious choices, though). I was hoping to keep this montage a little shorter, but this sort of seems the length it wants to be. It's still under a minute-and-a-half per day, so hopefully it's not too boring.

Chapter Ten: Seoul Sucking Jerk

2009-07-07T21:31:00.005+09:00

Today's blog is brought to you by the legendary Beck.

I got a job making money for the man
throwing chicken in a bucket with a soda pop can
I ain't gonna work for no soul sucking jerk
I'm gonna take it all back and I ain't sayin' jack
I'm standing right here with the beer in my hand
and my mouth is full of sand and I don't understand

I had a strangely vivid dream the other night. I was back in the States, and although I was very excited to find myself there, I realized it was 10:30 pm and everywhere I wanted to see was already closed. In Portland, 10:30 is just a few hours away from last call. In Korea, 10:30 is just about dinner time. Suddenly I really missed Korea.

I never know how to interpret dreams, but this one seems to be quite clear. "Enjoy Korea," it said. Well, okay dream voice. With that instruction in mind, here are several things about Korea that I greatly enjoy.

* Universal phone chargers. Every phone uses the same charger--this means your work place, hotels, cafes, etc all have communal chargers that anyone can use.

* Super duper fast downloading. For those who download, Korea is ridiculous. I've seen it as fast as up to 2 MBs a second. At that rate, you could download a feature-length movie in under a minute.

* 24 hour convenience stores [never more than three minutes away.] They sell snacks, sundries, beers, (and, one time, kittens) and they have tables in front where you can sit outside and eat noodles or drink beer. They also have huge rolls of gimbap (Korea's equivalent of sushi) for one dollar and Korea's answer to inari for 2.50.

* Ding Dong Buttons. Many restaurants and bars have buttons on the table to call your waiter. It never gets old pressing them.

* Altitude. There are mountains to climb everywhere. The views from them are a mashup of hills, granite peaks, skyscrapers, and urban sprawl.

* Hilarious Konglish shirts. This is a post-in-and-of itself. But imagine the funniest sayings you can and then give them worse grammar and spelling than you would think possible. They are always in English; I have never once seen one with Hangol on it.

* Bottles of soju. Soju tastes like nasty vodka and is about half as strong. Why would you drink it? Well it mixes nicely with coke or orange juice. And how much does a 500 ml bottle cost? About a buck.

* Cheap street food. Meals and snacks cost somewhere between 80 cents to 1.50.

* Public Transportation. The subway runs so often that waiting for 5 minutes seems very inconvenient. In addition, subway stations are mini malls with everything from food to clothes to guinea pigs. T-shirts cost as little as 3 bucks. There is one card (or cool device) for phone/subway/taxi. Recharging it is easy as can be.

* Fruit and Veggies. They are for sale everywhere on the back of trucks slowly driving through the neighborhoods.

* No tipping. Enough said.

* AC: The summers here are hot. But who cares? Almost every apartment has air conditioning!

* Noraebong (Korea's version of karaoke) is everywhere. From my co-teachers' apartments, you can see 6 or 7 of them.

* Service (freebies with everything). You never know where or when you are going to get something, let alone what it may be, but it keeps you on your toes. I got a red bean icy last time, which isn't as delicious as it sounds.

* Free bar snacks: This is a good one. You never know what you're going to get, but it's always good. From peanuts to coffee peanuts to buja mix to spicy sesame sticks to fruit loop like balls to wheat rings, bars always serve snacks.

Summing up, many of the great things about Korea fall into one of two categories. Either something is convenient beyond belief (like mini-marts everywhere) or utterly random (like costumed, stilted people in the streets to promote a new business or special sale). Another instance is the Korean word "dong," which can mean "neighborhood" or "poop," depending on how you use it.

UPDATE: July 19th. I forget to include several things in my original list. Oops.

* Green tea flavor: Many things are flavored green tea here, but the best are Hall's cough drops. Maybe not a good enough reason to come to Korea by themselves, but these coughcrops are great.

*Soymilk: Speaking of flavors, I've seen soymilk in varieties such as chestnut, pumpkin, and cereal. (Cereal is sort of wheat flavored and a little strange but not at all unpleasant.)

*Dolsot bibimbap While cultural differences have rendered the vast majority of Korean food inedible to me, this dish is amazing. Rice and veggies and hot sauce sizzling in a hot pot=deliciousness.

*Hair cuts: A haircut here only cost 8 dollars, and includes a head washing and a scalp massage. Just be careful because one barber pole means a barber but two mean a brothel.

*Darts: Most bars have cool dartboards. They are cheap and high tech-- with crazy electronic sound effects and little movies when you get a really good score.

*The term "Assah!" It's usually translated as "awesome" but I think it's closer to "sweet" or maybe "W00t." The kids say it a lot and consequently so do many of the English teachers.

*3D Roller coasters: What do you get when you combine a motion simulator with a 3D Movie? A virtual roller coaster where you can pick settings from the old west to the future to Dinosaurs!

***

There was a recent article that Koreans think foreigners come here "with fake diplomas to do drugs." This is funny because there are many places where getting drugs can be easier, including our home countries, or Thailand, or almost anywhere else. While this
disapproval is hard to deal with at times, it can be liberating when everyone already doesn't like you. (Koreans on an individual basis can be quite friendly, but using broad brush-strokes they collectively aren't that happy to see foreigners.)

With everyone already thinking you're an idiot, you have carte blanche to do whatever you please. You can make stupid faces for the camera on the subway, pose with statues in crowded places, or just make an ass of yourself whenever you feel like it. The only strange part is that when the occasional other foreigner happens along, it feels extra weird.

Alright, my dream voice is telling me to stop typing and go enjoy Korea some more. Good bye!

Chapter Nine: (Right About Now) The Funk Seoul Brother

2009-06-15T21:26:00.011+09:00

This entry was brought to you by Norman Cook, aka Fatboy Slim.

I'm coming up on my 4 month anniversary already--1/3 of my time in Korea is over. That's not so long--sort of like pretending turning 25 is a big deal because it's "a quarter of a century." But it's not a small amount of time, either. It's further proof, I suppose, that time really flies regardless of what you have going on in your life. What's strange is I feel like this is my reality, that I've been here forever, but when I look back on my time here I might not even remember the first couple months.

The biggest thing going around recently has been the paranioa about the Pig flu. I've been doing my best to ignore current events and for the most part have done just that. But with alarmed parents phoning in, this one is harder to avoid than, say, the hyserics about North Korea. All foreign teachers at my school have had to get our temperature checked twice now. If we cough or sneeze on the subway or elsewhere in public, we will get glared at (worse than usual) and people may actually move away. Many Koreans think that only foreigners can catch this flu, and they are very suspicious of all of us showing any symptoms of any cold. The irony here is that any sick foreigner here has probably gotten it from working with Korean children, whose idea of hygiene is sucking the snot off their fingers before they rub them on your face and try to put them into your mouth.

My average break at school.

Conditions at the school have been far from ideal, but the more draining the week days, the more I try to do on weekends. In the last few weeks, I've been to Suwon (again), Lotte World (a Korean version of Disney Land), a zoo (called Zoo Zoo) Seoul Grand Park (self-explanatory), up Bukhansan, and ascended the Seoul Tower. This is in addition to patronizing places like various Wa Bars (a western style bar), various Garten Biers (Korea's version of German bars), and several Noraebongs until the wee hours of the morning.

The Teddy Bear museum at the top of Seoul Tower.

Panda Bear ride at Lotte World.

The Legend of "Sindbad" ride.

And continuing the recent trend of videos, here is proof that I am not, in fact, faster than water:

Chapter Eight: Seoul to Squeeze

2009-05-18T21:19:00.014+09:00

This chapter was brought to you by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. (Obviously.)

Where I go I just don't know

I got to got to gotta take it slow.

When I find my piece of mind

I'm gonna give you some of my good time.

Everything has been going very well here in the Land of Morning Calm. One-quarter of my time here is up, which is surprising. I have more or less put learning Korean on the backburner--the awareness that learning the alphabet (already somewhat difficult for me) was a small beans compared to accumulating a Korean vocabulary sort of took the wind out of my sails. If I was going to stay for another year there would be no excuse (there's really no excuse now, apart from laziness) and in truth I would strongly consider staying in Korea for another year if there weren't so much of the world left to see. But apart from that, I am set up now: cell phone, bank account, debit card. I know good restaurants in a couple different parts of town, really enjoy Korean bar snacks, don't think twice anymore at having my choice of beer be virtually indistinguishable lager, and don't even notice people staring much anymore.

School is going well, for the most part. There are still hiccups, mostly caused by my own poor decisions. But almost every class I have the kids are showing some real improvement. There are two kids who started off as hideous troublemakers both of whom are highly intelligent and starting to get plugged in and it's pretty awesome.

I've named a few more kids, some inadvertently. In my kindergarten, Rex is now "T-Rex," which took no great stretch of imagination. But I learned he asked his mom to start calling him that, since it was the nickname I gave him, which was cute. In my other kindergarten, another kid who always had a Korean name has, due to prolonged exposure to my geekiness and coloring book choices, now chosen his official English name: Ice Dragon.

Another kid in my afternoon class asked for an English name of a monster, but I was warned that his parents wouldn't appreciate anything too crazy. And so was Je-beoum dubbed "Jaguar;" he seems pretty happy about it.

The key to teaching seems to be simple: treating the kids like human beings. Sure they're little kids and still maturing and learning, but as long as they're treated fairly and consistently they can pretty much deal with any terms or rules put upon them.

One thing at Isponge that I would like to share is how horrible the stories are that we subject to the kids. Stories we all grew up knowing: Three Little Pigs, Goldilocks, The Hare and the Tortoise, The Three Billy Goats' Gruff, and The Goose that Laid the Golden Age are all butchered almost beyond recognition. Incorrect grammar, confusing illustrations, bad voice acting on the CD, and confusing word choices all combine to create something so different from the original that I am surprised the kids even like it.

It was hard to choose one for an example, because they're all so epically, tragically bad. But I went with this one because it's pretty bad and also I taught it today so it's fresh in my mind.

***

Last Friday was Teacher's Day. This is a day that parents and students make a point of thanking the teachers and provide various gifts. I enjoyed mine, and got two roses, some soap, socks, and a Padres hat. It is always nice for people to make a point of being thankful. And I'm really appreciative of it. But from talking to other teachers, I realized it could have been even grander. Some got wine, others got pizzas delivered to them. Some teachers got gift vouchers as good as cash--one person got 200 bucks worth!

Apart from school, I've been exploring Seoul and Korea to the best of my ability on the weekends. I'm gone down to Suwon and up to Ilsan, both very nice places on the northern and southern edges of Seoul, respectively.

I climbed a small mountain in my neighborhood, another called Cheonggyesan and one hill/mountain near Bukhansan. Best of all was an escape from Seoul to the fishing village of Sokcho and Seoraksan mountain in the north part of South Korea. This is the part of the blog where I try to let the pictures live up to their reputation as word-beaters, so without further ado...

Possibly one of the more puzzling signs I've seen. Who needs a toilet when they're hiking?

Sunset in the 'Gu.

A cool farmer's market at Cheonggyesan with loads of veggies.

The castle walls ...

...and the Dragon Train in Suwon.

And a handful from Seoraksan below.

As always, any acclaim or disdain is welcome. Please share your thoughts in the comments. Until next time....

Chapter Seven: Seoul Kitchen

2009-04-23T21:09:00.015+09:00

This blog entry is sponsored by The Doors.

Well, the clock says its time to close now
I guess I'd better go now
I'd really like to stay here all night
The cars crawl past all stuffed with eyes
Street lights share their hollow glow

My blog posts, never frequent, have slowed down a bit. I think it's because my life here has gotten somewhat settled down. 5 days of teaching; 2 days of exploration or visiting Hongdae. Some of the initial "wow" factor has worn off and I am getting used to the routine. But it's not boring by any means. I am really enjoying living in Seoul; it is a dynamic city with just about anything possible to do at any hour.

But I recently got of out Seoul and it was a welcome change. Korea is a beautiful city with rolling green hills and verdant forests. I went with a company called Adventure Korea and overall enjoyed it. Normally I am not one for tour groups, but in a country where I don't speak the language it changes things a little bit. Though there were over 40 people on the bus, most of them were pretty cool. I think every one of us was an English teacher and we enjoyed exchanging war stories with one another.

One of my more questionable decisions was accepting a bet for 3,000 won (less than 3 USD) to eat a bunch of garlic. If that seems a trifling sum, don't worry, I never got any money at all. It was all recorded here for posterity. Note that I tried to play it off like it was no big deal, but I might not have been that convincing. (The garlic taste lasted for ever too. The strawberries I picked the next day tasted strongly of it).

The best part of the trip was the late-night encounter with the Korean busissmen. I don't have the words to describe what this was like, but it involved Beatles songs, Waltzing Matilda, soju, plum wine, sand soccer, and a whole lot of broken Konglish. Amazing. This picture in no ways sums it up but it's the best that I've got.

I don't know if I'll do another tour with them. The entire tour cost almost 100,000 won (roughly 100 USD) which was probably 2-3 times what it would have cost to do it by oneself. But it is a good way to meet people, and it's nice not to have to navigate by yourself blindly. But enough talking and on with some pictures.

The village at Gayasan.

I really like this, but it was 17,000 won.

A view of Haeinsa temple.

I still haven't gotten tired of the funny translations here.

A cool boat at the Daegaya Kingdom festival. We even got to see a pirates vs. soldiers acquatic battle.

One of many cool and refreshing fountains.

A couple of other things to mention.

My English language skills are really detoriating. Last weekend, talking amongst my friends, I spoke like the sheep in animal farm : "Two good, three bad." It's alarming that I haven't been here that long and my brain has ceased to function this much already.

Another thing about Seoul that I find odd is the smell of the subway. I've never lived in New York or London, cities famous for their subways, but they are usually considered somewhat vile, unclean, and rank . Seoul itself is a putrid smelling city, but the subways are clean! And due to the food carts that cook waffles and other cinnamon treats, they are the best smelling part of the city too. Weird. Or, as one of my friends says when things in Korea are strange, "Shuflne."

Interlude: Birthday

2009-04-12T23:40:00.009+09:00

I now present the video that was banned on facebook. (Due to some sort of licensing issues--which I don't really understand. It's not like I'm making money from using this song.) But I digress.

Warning: This montage contains some not so flattering pictures of all of us. Drinking from 9 pm to 6 am is not, as you might otherwise have believed, an entirely good idea. I, for one, get a hangover just trying to remember that night.

For the record, I had an amazing birthday. It was a day filled with so much fun and good will. But for whatever reason, the vast majority of these pictures are from the 2 hour marathon noraebong session late that night.

For those who weren't able to be there, or for those who were there but have fuzzy memories, I present the birthday montage.

Chapter 6: Mr. Seoul

2009-04-05T19:06:00.016+09:00

This week's title is brought to you by Buffalo Springfield, of "For What It's Worth" and "Bluebird" fame.

This video should provide a little insight into what it's like to teach at our school. It was slightly worse because they saw my camera, but you cannot keep these kids in their chairs. They are wild. In a given week, you will be punched, kicked, bitten, pinched, drooled on, spat on, sneezed on, have your "junk" grabbed, and a korean specialty of two hands put together and shoved up your butt.

And the kids are the good part of the job!

It's really hard to have perspective on what's normal, not having seen any other schools, but from talking to other teachers this is pretty much how it goes. Despite their abundance of energy, most of the kids do make an effort to learn, and they really do soak up English at an amazing rate. And once you get used to being a combination punching bag/jungle gym for them, it's not so bad.

Far more challenging is dealing with what the director wants, and the system of the hagwon. Most frustrating is the expectation to always know what to do, even if it's come up before. In most jobs, intuition and common sense can serve as a good substitute for training, but those won't get you very far in Korea. You have to leave those at the door and just do as told.

My classload looks like this: On MWF, I teach 9 classes. On TTH I teach 8. I have a total of 22 books I use, and a total of 40 minutes a day to plan for these classes. Unfortunately, we cannot even use this time soley for planning as we have weekly and monthly reports that take up a lot of time. I don't mind reports, but these are us just typing the same thing in the book over and over again. If it were streamlined, we could just click a button and be done. But ... it's Korea.

So there isn't much time for planning. A lot of planning is necessary since the way the lessons break down the official curriculum can last less than three minutes. See below:

My actual curriculum for a 40 minute class. It doesn't last long. We play a lot of Hangman. And now Tic Tac Toe as well.

Another thing I wish I had known is that when your contract is for 12o hours a month (30 hours a week, sweet!) that means actual teaching hours. We have to be at school for 45 hours a week, minimum, and we have to mandatorily spend our lunches and breaks with the kids, but only at half pay since we're not "teaching." I think that's the Korean way, and it's not the end of the world, but it is drastically different than my expectations and maybe even how the recruiter presented it to me.

An even more significant challenge is teaching the different age groups. One group of kids, I can spend 40 minutes trying to teach them the phonics of the letter B and how to write it in upper and lower case. And it might take 2 or 3 classes before they start to mutter along with me.

My oldest group of kids, on the other hand, I get to explain things like reflexive pronouns and subject verb agreement. The thing is, they don't know terms like "verb" or "article" so how I am supposed to do that is currently beyond me.

As always, any comments, suggestions, or queries are welcome.

Chapter Five: Seoul Coughing

2009-03-25T00:00:00.023+09:00

I don't mean to walk around in circles, walk around in circles.

I don't mean to make a habit of listing semi-obscure 90's bands and then the only part of their lyrics I can remember, but this time it's quite relevant.

This week I had my first urban escape and went into the mountains. It was awesome; my new favorite part of Korea.

Planning a hike was as easy as googling "hikes in seoul" and picking the first one on what was supposed to be a wet, rainy day.

Or was it?

The website (which it turns out had been lifted verbatim from Lonely Planet) read:

"Take subway line 5 to Gwanghwamun station, take exit number 1. Walk around to the front of Sejong Cultural center and get on bus 156. Tell the driver ‘Bukhansan’. The trip takes about 35 minutes and puts you at the western edge of the park. Usually there will be other hikers. Follow them as they walk to the end of the little village, turn right and walk to the ticket booth. Admission is 1300W and the ticket booths sell maps"

Technically that was close to entirely wrong. The directions got the subway number and stop right. But not only is there no exit number 1, there is no bus 156. (Also there were neither admission fees nor maps.) The truth of the matter is that if you take exit 2 and get on bus 0212, then about 15 minutes later you'd be in the village.

However, being rather naive and trusting, I did not suspect the blatant myths and lies in the directions. Not having any way to learn the truth other than by walking around and around in circles, that's what happened. For just over an hour. But I learned that Gwanghwamun is renovating and making a square of some sort, and there is a big museum there that looks like the acropylis, and we found a huge bookstore that I've always wondered where it was. So it wasn't a loss.

I'll mostly let the pictures speak for themselves. Remember that this is actually within the city limits of one of the largest cities in the world.

Koreans call hiking "mountain climbing." This is not entirely bragging as they don't believe in switchbacks and their paths are more rock than trail.

Good views of the area.

The views of the mountain were amazing. Some of the old ruins were several hundred years old. The King lived up here during a japanese invasion and brought hundreds of concubines. He left his wife and family and duties behind; the story goes that even after it was safe, he refused to leave.

The hike, about 12K, featured several natural walkways.

Thousands of Koreans hike the mountain every weekend. Many really appreciate seeing foreigners who choose to hike with them.

One of the many interesting rock formations.

A view from the temple.

And a view of the temple.

A super nice house in the mountain village. The village felt different than other parts of Seoul I've seen, with outdoor shops, open air restaurants, and a vibe more reminscent of a resort town than Seoul.

One of many large ravens flying around the mountains. I spotted a chipmunk with a big nut in its mouth as well.

This picture just makes me laugh.

***

Other than that, everything has been going well. I'm getting used to my classes, I should be getting a phone, a bank account, and my alien card soon. Best of all, my birthday is coming up so it's a safe bet that there will be fun times in Hongdae.

Chapter Four: De La Seoul

2009-03-16T19:51:00.019+09:00

I had my first staff dinner recently. Unbeknownst to me, it was a night of impending hedonism. All three foreign teachers, three of the four Korean teachers, both of the administrators, and the Director and her husband went to a meat restaurant. You can grill your own meat (or in my case mushrooms) and this being Korea there were numerous sidedishes. A lot of food was eaten. I repeat: A lot of food. Was eaten.

Three tables and still more food than room.

This being Korea, there was numerous beer and soju right off the bat as well. Soju isn't that strong, but it smells like really cheap vodka. I have had bad experiences with cheap vodka the world over, from Subway West End in Edinburgh to Doc's Pad in Eugene. So I find it a little rough, but it's not that bad.

We were at the restaurant for a few hours before most of us mosied over to a nearby hof. I think I've mentioned hofs before, but they are basically pubs. The major difference is that you need to order food when you're here. Even if you've just come from a three-hour dinner. We went through a couple massive pitchers of beer. I think we figured out that they were 4 liters each, and we went through 4 of them.

Katie's brain is boggled by the bigness of the beer.

Chloe shows the proper pouring skills...

... and how buffed she's gotten from pouring said large pitchers of beer.

After a few hours at the hof, a few of us made our way over to a noribang (Korean Karaoke place). I had been to one before just last weekend, but this one was much nicer. It had a large drum, maracas, a stage for dancing, and a great view of the city from the 5th floor. After drinking for something like 6 hours straight even I was ready for singing and we all had a good time. Highlights included Hotel California, Sex Bomb, and some sad Korean ballads.

Everything I know about drumming comes from watching the Muppets.

These song books have hundreds of pages.

Singing AND drumming takes real dedication.

So does maracka-ing and drumming.

That same weekend, I went out and explored the city. I spent most of my time at Gyeongbokgung, an amazing, sprawling palace. It had rivers, ponds, pagodas, statues and so much more. All for only 3000 won (under 2.00 USD). Also, in 2009 all museums are free in Korea so in the palace area there were two big museums I checked out as well.

The mountain looms in the distance.

The queen's pagoda.

The King's Pagoda.

The snobbiest statue I've ever seen. He's apparently from Apgujeong.

Some art in a museum.

I ended up meeting with fellow blogger Brandy of Life is A Highway fame for dinner at my favorite Indian/Nepalese/Tibetan Restaurant. I had a delicious rice dish with cashews and coconuts.

All this, and I haven't even gotten to the best part of my weekend yet. I was aimlessly wandering around, trying to find how to walk from Hongik University to Sinchon when I ran across the first book store I've ever seen here. They had one book in English in the bargain books outside the store. It was a book that I had to buy. At only 2000 won (maybe 1.50 USD) it wasn't even a choice. I've read it cover to cover twice now.

Recently I witnessed something strange. While walking to the bank, I realized something very unusual was going on. Not a single car was moving. This would be weird anywhere, but in Seoul, where red lights are generally considered an optional suggestion, it was like seeing a green sun in the sky. An alarm was blowing in the distance. And there was a small army of middle aged Korean people dressed in yellow on the sidewalks and in the streets.

What was going on?

Was Japan trying to reconquer Korea?

Where the North Koreans invading?

Had aliens made their first contact with the human race?

As you've probably guessed by the fact that I lived to type this, it was a drill. Of the "prepare for invasion from North Korea" variety. I'm not sure the exact defensive worth of stopping traffic and having people in yellow jackets run around and stand in the street...but it was very efficiently done. And for Korea, that's nearly a victory in itself.

Chapter Three: Seoul Asylum*

2009-03-10T20:36:00.016+09:00

Runaway Train never coming back...wrong way on a one way track.

Now that I have a week of teaching under my belt, I have a few observations and stories.

First, these kids are very funny. They're not very disciplined (ie: not at all) but that's for two reasons. One they are very young (more on that later). And two the school I work at is apparently known as a fun school so kids who "can't cut it" at a stricter school end up coming here. It is chaos even with relatively small classes. Our biggest classes are 10 kids, which compared to some teachers I know who have 30 or 40 seems nice. But ten 6 year-olds bouncing off the walls can be a lot to handle.

It sounds almost condescending, but I'm surprised that they have such strong personalities. It's funny to think that, for the most part, the outgoing ones will be extroverts their whole lives and the shy ones will remain shy. Maybe there is something to the nature part of the whole nature vs nurture debate. Or maybe the first three years really are the most important.

I teach 7 classes a day, everything from phonics to library time to worksheets. Mostly it's just getting them to sing or memorize stuff but with most classes I find the sillier I am the better they learn it.

I have one class with two 7 year olds in it. Sounds like a breeze, right? Well these two kids' personalities are a violiatile mix. One kid is like a Korean version of Nelson from the Simpsons. He's the oldest kindergartner, kind of a bully, and he swears nonstop (the korean equivalent of poop poop poop is his every other word). He cries if he loses a game though he mocks other kids if he wins.

He is a cute little guy though.

It would be tough for any kid to be in a class with him, but the other kid is, in his own way, more of a challenge. He is sometimes brilliant; he has already outsmarted me a couple of times. But his social development is lacking and he hits other kids several times a day for either making fun of him or doing something wrong in his view of the world. Today, for instance, he dropped a toy and when one kid went to pick it up and give it back to him, the kid grabbed and punched him and fell to tears. He thought he wouldn't get the toy back, I think. He also has severe OCD and if I write a letter on the board slightly wrong, I can't move on until he has gotten up and fixed it. As I said, he is very smart but it's a challenge getting him to do the day's lesson plan and not, as he did today, write 1-100 over and over again for 40 minutes.

Here is a snapshot of the two of them at play.

I mentioned age before. It's calculated differently here. You are considered one year old when you're born. And everyone is considered one year older every January 1st. If, like one of my students, you are born on December 31st, this means the next day you are considered 2 years old. This makes for a large variety of ability even amongst a group of so-called "seven year-olds." My morning kindergartners were born in 2003! Seriously? That wasn't so long ago, was it?

Another strange element that takes some getting used to is that school is a business here. Without kids, there is no money and with no money that means no foreign teachers (aka us). This creates an asylum run by the inmates, where the smallest amount of discipline (giving a troublemaker less stars than the good students) can result in an hour long call from a parent or grandparent. We have to keep them happy but it's a fine line. They still have to pass the progress tests and some parents get angry if their kids don't get homework every night.

My Seattle class hard at work. Like any kids, they like the tickle monster way too much and think that being grabbed into the air and turned upside down is a major treat.

***
In miscellaneous other news, I don't have a phone yet, but had to take this picture when I saw it. What do the emergency services for phones do in your home country? I assume call 911 or 999 or whatever your number is. As in so many other areas, Korea is different.

While I'm a big fan of being able to request a mountain or a sea rescue, nothing beats the double-edged sword of using your mobile phone to either Spy (option 7) or Report a Spy (option 10).

And a picture of my bathroom. While it's not too terribly small, I basically have to fill my sink and (ironically) wash my washer every time I take a shower.

Oh, I have a Korean name! I don't know what it is in Hangul, but in English it's Typhoon Park. Typhoon because, well I guess that should be obvious, and Park as my family name because it seems to be the name of just about everyone over here.

*Will the Seoul puns ever get old? Gosh, I sure hope not.

Chapter Two: Rubber Seoul

2009-03-01T17:06:00.011+09:00

Welcome to chapter two. I started to think that maybe my last blog might have focused too much on the initial culture shock and I've been having a great time so far here. Plus this time I'm going to try and incorporate more pictures.

So here are some assorted things about Korea that I really like so far. Or at least that are different enough to comment on.

I know what you're thinking. "Ew, why is there a picture of trash here?" Well this and many other larger piles like it are where you have to put your trash. From what I can tell you can really put it anywhere on the street and eventually it's collected. Kind of gross, and sometimes the smell is almost overwhelming. In the summer it's apparently worse. But that's the way they do it here.

For all those times when you have had to choose between wine OR waffles...well now there is wine AND waffles. Finally!

A guard at Deoksugung, which roughly translates as "Virtuous Longevity." Though it dates to the 15th century, like everything else in Seoul it was obliverated in the Korean War and rebuilt Its kind of sparse but there are some cool things in there.

One of many pagodas inside the palace.

Um, Standy-upy-things? (Maybe I should have taken the tour).

Also in Deoksugung. A statue of King Sejoing , who ruled in the 15th century and invented the Korean alphabet. According to my Lonely Planet, he also developed rain gauges, sundials, new music, and innovations in farming. His face is on the 10,000 won note, which currently is the largest denomination here.

***

People have asked me what my favorite thing about Korea is. Right now, that is a very difficult question as I feel too immersed to quantify experiences. But my favorite thing, on a broad level, is just that I still have no idea what I'll run into on a given day.

Case in point: last night, in an area I'd already been to twice (Hongdae, it's sort of like a combination of Hawthorne in Portland and Garnett in Pacific Beach--tons of cafes, clubs, and bars). I saw a korean rock band playing covers of eric clapton and jason mraz. They had three drummers and an official dancer who at first was just kind of sashaying around but then did a 3 minute tap solo! Awesome. And then I ended up at a korean version of a german biergarten. So three places or things I'd never heard of but all that were awesome and just part of the unique experience here.

A German pub, they had yard glasses and chilled recesses (see below) built in to the table that not only cooled your beer but also had lights that changed the way your beer looked.

A chilled receptacle thing, in EXTREME CLOSEUP! Wayne's World! Party On!

A view of the city from a pub in Hongdae.

When the night started, I was pretty sure that I wouldn't be hanging out with this guy.

And I was nearly positive I would't get a chance to meet one of my heroes. But you just never know what to expect whilst in Korea.

Chapter One: I've got Seoul but I'm not a Seoldier.

2009-02-24T23:18:00.008+09:00

We will begin with a riddle. Tell me what you think the below picture is. I'll make it multiple choice, and give you the correct answer in my next post

A) Key Chain.
B) Bottle Opener
C) Personal Defense Whistle
D) Cigar Cutter
E) Combination bus pass/subway pass/taxi account/phone card/prepaid credit card.
F) None of the above

My first week in Seoul was, in a word, challenging and non-stop. More than one word, yes, but that's the best I can do. My first couple days I left work and either went straight to my apartment or quickly ended up there. Between the cold weather and jetlag and the culture shock, I was glad to read and watch movies on my laptop. But now, beginning my second week, I'm beginning to feel a little more comfortable. Despite what you may have heard, I'm not exactly the most cunning of linguists--and I've had a hard time even learning "hello" and "thank you" in Korean so far. (Though the equivalent of "cheers" was easy and fun.) Meeting a few other people in the orientation helped, and my two co-teachers have been immensely helpful and nice so far.

A recap, though warning that this post gets a little long.

Day 1:

I got in late Sunday night, around 11 pm, and felt exactly like you'd expect after 20+ hours of transit. I hadn't heard from anyone from the school for over a week, so I wasn't entirely sure that anyone would be there. But as I finally collected my bags and headed out through the least stressful customs ever, there they were. Claire and Brant, the hagwon owners. And Nate and Jennifer, the other two English teachers. They were holding a sign with my entire name and it was great to see them.

A quick 45 minute drive later, we were at my place. It was nice, and huge for a studio. I was sorta hoping for talking doors and heated toilets, but it's pretty old school. I unpacked a little, then Nate and Jennifer came back over and invited me to Nate's room. (Jennifer lives right next to him). It sounded like fun and so I gladly went with them (about 5 minutes away from my place). Nate asked if I wanted a beer--I said sure and instead of going to the fridge he was out the door before I closed my mouth. Less than two minutes later he was back. At least in my part of town, anywhere you live there will be a convenience store that's open 24/7 within a minute or two of you. Also you can buy alcohol all night long. Also you can drink on the street. Or on the subway. I'm liking this place so far.

We talked for a bit, but I was sleepy and went back to my apartment. Uh-oh. My outer door was locked. I ended up sleeping on Nate's floor on some yoga mats. At that point, I think I could have slept on volcanic monkey poo. I was out instantly for the entire night. I'm pretty sure I keep Nate up all night with my snoring, but if so he's too kind to make a big deal out of it.

Day 2:

Woke up, went home, took a shower. There was no warm water, but oh well it was nice to feel somewhat clean. I went to school and observed some classes. Nate has been here a year and Jennifer half of a year and they both knew so much about Korean culture and even the language. It was a little intimidating, but nice to be able to draw on.

Classes were different than I expected as well. The kids were, well, a little wilder than than I anticipated. Class sizes were small--from 2 kids to a max of 10. But they were 4-8 years old, and as crazy as anyone that age is. One 7 year old got busted for texting on her phone. Another little dude made me laugh when he wrote about "putting things in the whore" instead of "putting things in the whole." And any thought of them being afraid to be individuals was dismissed in the first few minutes--some did gorilla impersonations, others acted like Transformers, Pokemon, or monsters. They were mostly just amazingly funny, like the kid who when asked what the businessman does said "plays on the computer."

After school, my coteachers took me to the grocery store. The nearest one is called Homeplus, and is in some kind of partnership with Tesco, so there is some british food there too. (No irn-bru though). I got stuff for peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches, cinnamon raisen bagels, pasta and marinara, and some rice. I've cooked for myself largely so far and am pretty happy to do so.

Day 3:

Wow, I didn't even notice cameras everywhere before. Even in the teacher's lounge. There are at least two banks of monitors where the parents, kids, co-teachers, and any one else can watch you do your thing. Not a bad thing, but a little different. It's awkward observing, because my instinct is to try and bond with the children...but this obviously starts to infringe on their teachers and the relationship they have.

Also, some other differences become more obvious today. (I call it Day 3 but it's really my 2nd day here and I'm still getting over jetlag). Everyone knows you take off your shoes going inside here. But when you work on the 3rd and 4th floor, constantly going back and forth, it equals a lot of slipper and shoe switching. It doesn't seem all that practical. And the shoe area is sacrosanct--slippers are verbotten.

And the hand motion here for "come here" looks to me like "go away." It took me 10 seconds of staring at my boss wondering why she was telling me to go away when i already wasn't very close to her.

I went to the bank and found out some ATM's are global and some aren't. I took out a lot of money (We're not talking about a lot of money, we're talking about a sh*tload of money!) 700,000 Won or just under 600 bucks. The highest denomination here is 10,000 Won so it's like having 600 bucks in 10s. I think about taking a bath in my huge collection of money...it can't be worst than showering in cold water.

Day 4:

Very frustrated at my continued lack of hot water. It's cold in Seoul now, not getting in the positive Celcius. The windchill feels excessively cold because, as I have recently found out, it literally blows down from Siberia. It snows today.

This day is my lowpoint so far, as I succumb to culture shock while still held down by the last vestiges of jetlag. I go to work for another 9 hour day and while observing some teachers, making lesson plans for my classes next week, planning to take the subway to training on Th, F, and Saturday, and then Saturday get from training to graduation across the city, I am so overwhelmed that I just shut down. I find myself daydreaming of hopping on a plane and going somehwere else.

This is stupid and I know it, but it doesn't seem to matter. Part of it is exhaustion--getting ready for coming over here has left me without a day of rest in over a month. Part of it is the culture shock--I still am afraid of doing the wrong thing whenever I go out. I know though that overall it's too early to make this kind of decision. If in a month or two I hate my life I can consider giving this up. But leaving less than a week into it isn't cool, especially since it would let a lot of people down over here. Still, though, I never felt that overwhelmed urge to leave while in the UK or Oz. It is more different here, as you'd expect. Knowing that and experiencing it are two different things though--I know, for example, that it's hot in the desert. That wouldn't necessarily help cool me off if I was lost in the Gobi or Sahara though.

Oh yeah, the pollution today is worse than ever. Walking up a couple flights of stairs feels like I'm at 9,000 feet up--it's hard to catch my breath. After a 20 minute walk to check out the subway, my mouth tastes oily. Phlegm has become my constant companion.

Days 5-7:

This post is approaching novella length so to sum up, the next three days are spent in training which is boring but I meet some great people and we do some exploring of the cool parts of town by night. By Monday, I am trained, have some new friends, and feel much better prepared for my second week in this city, the second largest in the world.

South Korea - The Prologue

2009-02-24T13:28:00.004+09:00

I have been in Seoul, South Korea now for just over a week. I officially start teaching kindergartners English next week.

Why Korea? I first got the idea from travel writer Rolf Potts, who saved up enough money whilst in Korea to begin the trip that spawned Vagabonding. (Note: I can't recommend Vagabonding enough to anyone who likes traveling. It is THE book.)

More generally, I was completely amazed, astounded, inspired, and challenged by two journeys across the world. The first is by a Scotsman travelling the world with his wife; he is a brilliant writer and amazing photographer. The second also comes from the UK and is somehow even more ambitious, from a couple who biked from Scotland to Turkey and then liked it so much that they kept going. I was educated and entertained by their account in a way that few other stories have, regardless of medium.

After reading of those amazing journeys there was no way I could resist the siren call of travel anymore. But where to go?

I had considered volunteering in a place like Patagonia, but paradoxically I couldn't afford the fees it costs to volunteer. So Korea won kind of by default--it's one of the few places where English teachers can actually make a little bit of money. But I don't mean to imply that I came over here begrudgingly. I like that it's a mix of mountains, temples, and cities. I look forward to living in a technological culture, one with highspeed trains and starcraft tournaments broadcast on tv and phones that you can write the numbers in the air with. I like Oldboy and other movies from Chan-wook Park. So Korea = winner. Yay!

***

I did some thinking about vagabonding and wanderlust on the plane ride over. Since I moved out of my mom's house at 18 to go to college, (so admittedly 12.5 years ago) I've moved to 20 distinct places. My place in Seoul will be number 21, and the 4th contintent since high school. The longest I lived in any one place was I think on Salmon Street in Portland back in 2001-02 for a year and a half. I know I get really antsy after 1 year in a place and 2 years is about my upper limit. Compared to professional vagabonders, this is miniscule, but it does seem like quite a lot of places. Is the constant need to be exposed to new information a flaw in myself or should I just learn to accept it?

I had been in Portland for just over 2 years this time. And I love Portland. For a hiker who likes reading, drinking beer, and cheap movies I don't know if there could be a better place to live. I know I will miss it but it's currently time to get away. I'm looking forward to Korea, even though it's one of the few places I've heard more bad things about than good.

Chief among my challenges will be that I'm teaching kindergartners. This is going to be challenging for many reasons, not the least of which
a)I've never taught kindergarden
b) I never even went to kindergarden. So I have no idea what to expect.

While I'm aware that there may challenges, I'm hoping to keep as open a mind as I can. Worst case scenario is that it's an ends to a means, and will end up in enabling me to travel to other places.

My long term travel goals are not defined but could certainly include any combination of
SE Asia, Mongolia, Uzbekistan, Nepal, Japan, Hong Kong, or, well anywhere else.

I have a list of places to see within Korea as well. I'll get 10 days off for the year, plus weekends and holidays. Enough to visit Japan once maybe and see other parts of Korea. But the one place I really really want to see is called Paekdusan. It's like Oregon's own Crater Lake, and on the border of China and North Korea. South Koreans, Americans, and other "anti-North Koreans" can enter only through China. Siberian Tigers wander the area

I'm not sure if I've met my nerd quotient for this post(though honestly I've probably unwittingly exceeded it), so I'll add this. Looking around in this city reminds me of the beginning of the first book of Foundation, when Gaal Dornick looks around on Trantor for the first time:

"He could not see the ground. It was lost in the ever increasing complexities of man-made structures. He could see no horizon other than that of metal against sky, stretching out to almost to almost uniform grayness, and he knew it was so over all the land-surface of the planet...There was no green to be seen, no soil, no life other than man."

Thus concludes the prologue. I will update more with pictures and stories soon

Today's Tree - NE Shaver & 31st

2008-09-10T09:15:00.000+09:00

Astute readers will notice this tree is located physically not too far away from the tree in our inaugural interview way back in July.

While we here at Urban Blog would normally frown at such shoddy representation, we have a good reason for this exception.

It turns out that today's tree is a big fan and actually requested the interview.

Hope you enjoy.

TREE: Thanks for coming out here; I'm so excited. I've been following your blog from the very beginning.

ME: That puts you in a minority, but it's great to hear. How did you find out about it? Is it a big topic amongst the trees?

TREE: A big topic? Hahahahahahahahaha. No, it couldn't be further from it. Other than me and the trees you have already interviewed, I don't think a tree in the world knows about your blog. And actually some of the ones you interviewed might have already forgotten.

ME: So how did you ever hear about it?

TREE: I saw you interviewing my neighbor a while back and got curious. I've been following it ever since.

ME: That's great. But...You're a tree. How do you even read a blog?

TREE: It's not that hard. So can you ask me some movie questions. I really like movies.

ME: Okay, sure. Um, did you see the Lord of the Rings movies? What did you think of the Ents?

TREE: The Ents looked cool, but the film they were introduced in [ed: The Two Towers] was was piss poor. The general feeling of us trees is that it loses out on not having the confrontation with Saruman, with Aragorn's pointless solo adventure and all the Arwen/Elrond crap which is just mesmerisingly dull. Sean Astin is a terrible actor and having him narrate the movie at the end made so sense.

ME: That's harsh.

TREE: I'm just getting started. Return of the King loses out for not having the Scouring (understandable from a timekeeping POV but it is thematically vital to the story) and for having Slimer and his buddies save the day at Minas Tirith, undermining the spirit and self-sacrifice of the humans and rendering the final act nonsensical (there is absolutely no reason whatsoever given why the Army of the Dead can't just go and kick the shit out of the orcs at the Morannon as well). The entire trilogy suffer from turning Legolas into a skater boi punk hero and Gimli into a walking cliche.

ME: Good points all.

TREE: Ooh, ask me another one.

ME: Sorry that's all the time for have for this week. Thanks and we'll see you all another time.

Today's Tree - Mt Hood Wilderness

2008-09-03T06:43:00.000+09:00

URBAN PINE GOES RURAL

Mt. Hood Pine.

Rejoice, ye Urban Pine readers (both of you) for we have a special treat this week. By broadening the definition of "Urban Pine" so that it instead means "Any Pine," we bring to you an alpine guest. The moral of this week's interview? Even when you're green, the grass is always greener.

ME: Hey there, Mr. Rural Pine. What's it like up here in the forest?

TREE: Pretty, I guess. But cold. Guess what? It's August and I'm already covered in snow.

ME: I noticed that. So how does it compare to living in the city.

TREE: Man those city trees have it so easy. Up here, we have to worry about being buried in snow, about rain washing out our roots, about forest fires, about bears scratching us, beavers cutting us down, loggers, and I could go on. What is there to worry about for trees in the city? Man, they have it good. Those lucky lucky bastards.

ME: Well, you have your looks.

TREE: True, and thanks for noticing. Plus it's nice to be with my family. I do feel sorry for urban pines, separated from their seedlings and spread to who knows where. On the other hand, I bet they don't get snowed on in August.

ME: You're probably right. Well, that about wraps it up. Any last words for our readers?

TREE: I always like to encourage people to come out and see me. There's lots to do up here. My motto, if I had legs, would definitely be "Up a mountain, Down a beer."

Tune in next week for a return to the urban portion of urban pine!

Today's Tree - MT. TABOR PARK.

2008-08-19T06:11:00.001+09:00

It's hard to believe that we, the hard-working staff at Urban Pine, are now marking our first month anniversary.

So far the accolades have been few and far between, but any day now we're thinking we can catch on. And I know I speak for all the trees out there when I say we're willing to sell out faster than the stuff-that-white-people-like dude.

A zombie suggested that I interview a tree outside of the NE territories I have limited myself to thusfar, so to mix things up I gave it a shot. And I'm glad I did, for I found the most interesting tree so far. Who knew zombies were so insightful?

This tree was interviewed on Saturday August 16 at Mt. Tabor during the Adult Soapbox Derby 2008. (For the record, the tree I interviewed is the one on the right, but I talked with the other two pictured and they were cool too).

Me: Hello Mt Tabor Tree. Thanks for meeting me here. What do you think of this crazy derby thing?

TREE: I like it. I like the bustle. I like the cars. And I like the costumes especially. One guy was wearing tights so tight I could tell what religion he was.

ME: What religion are you?

Tree: Atheist.

Me: Wait a minute. An atheist? So you're saying you hate god?

Tree: Not exactly. I hate god as much as you hate leprechauns, unicorns, and martians.

Me: Wait a minute, those don't even exist. Oh, I see what you did there. Clever.

Tree: Thank you. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day and have a fine weekend. You should come back to Mt. Tabor soon.

Me: Thanks tree! You're awesome!

Today's Tree: 32 and Going

2008-08-13T00:23:00.000+09:00

Today's tree is here in the Plantation part of the city, between Fremont and Alberta. I found that trees around here very smart, way too smart for me to ever want to interview again. My head still smarts from this one.

ME: Good afternoon. So what's it like, being a tree?

TREE: This is a difficult question for me to answer, being as my default state is that of 'treeness'. I couldn't very well ask you what's it like to be a human, not if I expected some sort of cognizant response.

ME: Cogniz-wha?

TREE: And another thing. What is with the way humans speak? I realize language is a fundamental topic of interest in cognitive neuroscience, and modern brain imaging techniques have contributed greatly to a growing understanding of the anatomical organization of linguistic functions. Unfortunately, the techniques do not allow for high temporal resolution of brain activity as the comprehension or production of sentences unfolds. As temporal resolution is of utmost importance in these questions, researchers also employ the gross electrophysiological techniques. Consequently, EEG and MEG are used primarily to inform theories of the cognitive/computational architecture of language, without regard to their precise neurobiological implementation. For example, one might suspect that out of three categories of words that could end a sentence, two are actually tapping into the same mechanism, but the third is represented differently. Showing that these two categories elicit an identical electrophysiological response different from that of the third would support such a hypothesis.

ME: Nerd!

TREE: Your blatant attempts at stereotyping are quite frankly insipid and I find your vocabulary appalling. Have you ever even looked at a dictionary?

ME: Heh, you said "dick."

TREE: You're an idiot.

ME: Yeah, well your needles are ugly.

TREE: Leave now.

ME: Okay.

Today's Tree - NE MISSISSIPPI

2008-08-05T14:57:00.001+09:00

Today's tree is from my sisters new neighborhood. I approached it for an interview and found that the trees in her hood are not always the nicest. But I'll let you see for yourself.

Me: Greetings tree. How is your summer going?

Tree: Hot, I guess. I'm bored with that question already.

Me: Ah, okay. What do you think of my sister moving into your neighborhood?

Tree: To be perfectly honest, I can't see it affecting my life all that much. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but really I couldn't care less.

Me: Fair enough. Final question: Who do you think is the biggest band in America today?

Tree: Again, I gotta tell you I don't really follow music that much. I'm a tree, after all. But when I had fewer rings there were some hippies that lived by me. I liked some of their stuff. Whatever happened to the Beatles?

Me: Half of them died, the other half aren't up to much.

Tree: That's a shame. What about the Doors?

Me: Lead singer died, the rest not up to much.

Tree: Wow, I had no idea. What about the Who?

Me: Drummer and Bassist died. The rest ... not up to much.

Tree: You humans are certainly short lived! I guess I can assume all the Rolling Stones are dead?

Me: No, actually they're still alive. All of 'em.

Tree: You know, even after four hundred years, you humans can still surprise me.

Today's tree: located at NE SHAVER and 32nd

2008-07-29T09:11:00.000+09:00

A pine tree. As we will be doing throughout this blog, we interview random pines throughout the city and see how they feel.
Today's three questions:

Q: Have you seen the new Batman movie? What do you think of Heath Ledger's Performance?

PINE: Heath who? Listen, I can't really tell you meatbags apart. That movie was terrible, not a single tree or plant in the entire 2/1/2 hours! Would it kill Christopher Nolan to have Batman get a spiderplant or something?

Q: What do you think about the upcoming Presidential Election? Mccain or Obama?

PINE: I am not registered, but if I were I would only vote the Green Party.

Q: What is your favorite color?

PINE: Blue. No Yellow! Shit Shit Shit!