Chapter Sixteen: Ignorance is Bliss

"Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise."

Keen-eyed viewers will have lately noticed a certain lack of, well, Korean things in this blog. This is mostly because after eight or nine months, life is pretty routine and it's hard to keep saying, "So I saw some funny signs today."

But I realized that I have neglected one of the most amusing aspects of life in Korea. Koreans believe in some funny things. I say this, knowing that I hail from a country that thought not once but twice that having a retarded cowboy manage our lives would be a good idea. So understand that I laugh not at Korea but with it.

* Names. Korea is a literal place. The capital city is Seoul, which translates as "Capital." The river that flows through the city is called the Han, which translates as "Korean." The most popular food here is made of seaweed and rice, and it's called Kimbap. Kimbap literally means, of course, "seaweedrice."

* A fruit by any other name. They think westerners are quite silly in their classification of the tomato as a fruit. Strangely, though, I have not seen a fruit salad here that didn't prominently include tomatoes.

* Why is everyone playing Basketball? I assumed the reasons for this were self-evident. But Koreans start playing at a young age because they believe it will make them taller. They do tend to be quite tall, so maybe there's something to this one.

* Avoid the rain. What you or I might call a drizzle causes Koreans to duck under doorways and brandish umbrellas. The reason: they think that rain causes hair to fall out.

* Japan is evil. Koreans hate the Japanese with surprising ferocity, to the point that they won't eat their version of sushi with soy sauce because the Japanese do. To be fair, Japan was pretty brutal, both historically and in living memory, to Korea. But the children here will "Boo" and be very comfortable when Japan is brought up. North Korea to them, by contrast, is just a funny, "angry" place.

* Eat your fermented cabbage. An apple a day may no longer keep you medically fit, but Koreans have a superfood that will actually prevent swine flu! Kimchi says so right on the package, and it's been presented in the paper, on the news, and, well, everywhere. I never touch the stuff and I caught the swine, so this one might have some merit. One problem: Koreans eat it three times a day and still hundreds of thousands have caught the flue.

* Why was six afraid of seven? They don't know about the Panama canal, and hence lump America into one mega-continent. Why Europe, Asia, and Africa don't get the same treatment is unclear.

* I'm your biggest fan. This one sounds made up, but it's the mother of them all. If you leave your fan on, it will suck all the oxygen out of the room and you will die. This is not urban legend, it is in the news, validated by scientists, and even highly educated people are convinced it's true. Fans here are made with timers so they can shut off automatically and thus save your life.

It makes me wonder what follies we've all swallowed from our own cultures? Surely nothing as blatant as fan death? Would we know it if we did?

Anyway, here's something that my students have been learning recently. Sometimes I feel that teaching them to sing Beatles and quote Bill & Ted might not be of the utmost importance (only sometimes though, don't worry!) but the truth is that their coursebooks are less than useless and so full of errors that they hinder more than help their education.